If you’re determined to lose customers, we have the best ways to do so. Of course if you want to keep them, make sure you exactly the opposite.
As a business owner, you probably care about customers, and actually keeping them interested in your company’s goods and services. However, if you want to lose customers and possibly even get a boycott happening, it’s not that hard. Just use these five easy, peasy methods that major companies used to get rid of pesky loyal customers fast.
- Make sure that you are rude on Facebook and Twitter. Break every single rule of online etiquette and social media common sense. Insult your customers. Refuse to help them. Heck, if you really want to get good at losing customers, insult them and threaten them if they dare complain. If possible, also add a political lean to your business’s social media campaign – ideally one that is highly unpopular, sexist, or racist in nature.
- Give your customers a computer virus. Why not link up with a shady 3rd party that installs a “helpful” toolbar that may accidentally disseminate a virus or malware onto customers’ computers? People absolutely detest having malware, which is why they almost never go back to a site that gives them that lovely present in the first place. As an added bonus, Google bans sites that are linked to malware as well as other shady practices, so your SEO work will also go down the toilet!
- Leave every opportunity open for your company’s information to be seized by hackers. Passwords? What are those, you ask? Well, it won’t make much difference if you are trying to lose customers. When getting rid of customer loyalty and souring your reputation, make sure that you fall victim to hacker attacks, credit card fraud, and of course, data mining. The more customer information made public, the more your company will fail!
- Make sure that your company site is broken. Dead links? Check. Broken Flash? Perfect. Email forms that don’t do anything? WONDERFUL! With a broken, obsolete, or downright busted site, people will definitely think twice about doing business with you. The more broken, botched, and messed up your site is, the better.
- If your site isn’t broken, make sure that it loads slowly…particularly if the site is a mobile site. Studies have shown that sites that load slowly are less likely to retain customers, and customers that visit a slow site are less likely to recommend the corresponding company to friends. A well-oiled site that runs smoothly and quickly is only for companies that want to keep their business open!
The bottom line is that how you handle technology, as well as how much you invest in making your tech speak on behalf of your company, will yield major results. If you want to lose your client base, make sure that your tech looks terrible and causes users to have a terrible experience with your company. If you want to have a good client base, then you’ll take extra care in making sure that you keep your tech secure, and that your site will deliver a good user experience.